Anybody else not like dealing with polite people?

cody
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Re: Anybody else not like dealing with polite people?

Post by cody »

And I think it’s important to say that there are different levels to this topic.

Being polite is standard practice that mostly everyone uses day to day in some capacity

But if we are dissecting it on a personal person to person level, there are intricacies that I feel people don’t talk about enough
:mrgreen:
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Smile Now Cry Later
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Re: Anybody else not like dealing with polite people?

Post by Smile Now Cry Later »

cody wrote: Wed Nov 29, 2023 2:44 pm I think there are levels

I think Dex is talking about real kindness vs fake kindness. For those who are energy inclined, fake politeness can come off as passive aggressive.

Especially in social situations. One of my biggest pet peeves is being in a social situation where I see someone smiling in someone’s face to win their affection and turn around when they are gone and make a slick comment about them. Shit like that makes it sooo hard to trust people sometimes. Oh but they were so polite :evil:

Real kindness is based on respect.

People can have the best intentions - genuinely wanting people around them to feel good. But what happens in effect is that people feel as if they aren’t permitted to be themselves. Can’t have a shitty day without someone nagging at them trying to cheer them up.

This form of kindness understands the object of kindness should be other people, but misunderstands the goal of kindness. It's not to make people feel great all the time - it's to make people feel validated, seen and respected.

Making people feel validated, seen, and respected is my version of politeness.
Exactly

I shouldn't have said polite people. Politeness is cool. I demand a certain level of courtesy and respect or we're gonna have problems.

i hate that over-the-top, performative kindness because it's like a socially acceptable form of manipulation.

it's irritatingly fake as fuck and there's this unspoken obligation for me to be super nice in return which is bullshit
Last edited by Smile Now Cry Later on Wed Nov 29, 2023 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Tommy needs to talk his shit
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Smile Now Cry Later
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Re: Anybody else not like dealing with polite people?

Post by Smile Now Cry Later »

God Aby wrote: Wed Nov 29, 2023 3:13 pmBut I was one of those people who would look at a man weird and not say thank you if they held a door open for me
loool

ive been in a bad mood before and had somebody like 15 feet away holding the door for me and I blurted out "just fuckin go bro"

it's like on one hand I appreciate the thought

but on the other I feel like fuck you don't put me in this position
Tommy needs to talk his shit
cody
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Re: Anybody else not like dealing with polite people?

Post by cody »

Smile Now Cry Later wrote: Wed Nov 29, 2023 7:22 pm
cody wrote: Wed Nov 29, 2023 2:44 pm I think there are levels

I think Dex is talking about real kindness vs fake kindness. For those who are energy inclined, fake politeness can come off as passive aggressive.

Especially in social situations. One of my biggest pet peeves is being in a social situation where I see someone smiling in someone’s face to win their affection and turn around when they are gone and make a slick comment about them. Shit like that makes it sooo hard to trust people sometimes. Oh but they were so polite :evil:

Real kindness is based on respect.

People can have the best intentions - genuinely wanting people around them to feel good. But what happens in effect is that people feel as if they aren’t permitted to be themselves. Can’t have a shitty day without someone nagging at them trying to cheer them up.

This form of kindness understands the object of kindness should be other people, but misunderstands the goal of kindness. It's not to make people feel great all the time - it's to make people feel validated, seen and respected.

Making people feel validated, seen, and respected is my version of politeness.
Exactly

I shouldn't have said polite people. Politeness is cool. I demand a certain level of courtesy and respect or we're gonna have problems.

i hate that over-the-top, performative kindness because it's like a socially acceptable form of manipulation.

it's irritatingly fake as fuck and there's this unspoken obligation for me to be super nice in return which is bullshit
Most of these people have a fever, dex. They are sick

That’s why I will never match energy

More often than not, people are not what they seem to be. I find that interesting
:mrgreen:
Resilient
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Re: Anybody else not like dealing with polite people?

Post by Resilient »

I like the terminology “performative kindness”

Being fake can be annoying. But at the same time, after I leave the situation (McD’s drive thru, Costco line, Victoria’s Secret, etc) I forget about that person as they didn’t have a true impact.

I’d take over the top kindness, regardless of its authenticity, over someone being an asshole.


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Apache
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Re: Anybody else not like dealing with polite people?

Post by Apache »

catch me being sickeningly polite to all service workers and everyone in public.

idk how people can be grumpy and short in public. it's so embarrassing.
J o o k
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Re: Anybody else not like dealing with polite people?

Post by J o o k »

Apache wrote: Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:01 pm catch me being sickeningly polite to all service workers and everyone in public.

idk how people can be grumpy and short in public. it's so embarrassing.
lol I like this, true Canadian spirit brother
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Re: Anybody else not like dealing with polite people?

Post by J o o k »

I appreciate that I don’t have to deal with or experience the performative kindness/manipulation as it reiterates that my circle is strong and my life is on the right trajectory.
J o o k
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Re: Anybody else not like dealing with polite people?

Post by J o o k »

What are some other issues that folks deal with by surrounding themselves with insecure, immature, or ill-willed people?
Sir Bustalot
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Re: Anybody else not like dealing with polite people?

Post by Sir Bustalot »

J o o k wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2023 12:08 am I appreciate that I don’t have to deal with or experience the performative kindness/manipulation as it reiterates that my circle is strong and my life is on the right trajectory.
J o o k wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2023 12:09 am What are some other issues that folks deal with by surrounding themselves with insecure, immature, or ill-willed people?

my sentiment exactly, i dont have to deal with performative niceness, at least 'dealing with it'' is not how id describe it, dealing with is if your sister in law is a fake nice person and is staying at your house for a week LOL... if i run into it its a small interaction at a store with a clerk or something. I personally am never around these people. And i agree with Apache, its easy to be civil and polite, theres very little reason not to be. It takes real effort to be a dickhead

for your second question
copy cats

i mention this because someone made a thread about copycats a while back that i remember. I dont have any in my own life.
is it not true that division causes conflict?

REBAL shaped like an EAGLE

nawmchomksy?
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