Have you ever had anyone obsessed with you?

[BULLY]

I'm married as many of you know.

There is a woman who I used to be her boss. I was nice to her, supportive of her, never anything inappropriate but she always seemed to make bad decisions that set her back financially or relationship decisions, so she would seek guidance from me alot.

At some point I became like her whole world. She texts and emails me multiple times a day whether I respond or not. My wife has met her. She sends gifts and cards like every holiday and just randomly out of the blue. She even sends stuff for my wife.


My wife was fine with it and actually didn't want me to hurt her feelings and felt that I just meant a lot to her and that's how she shows appreciation.

It has never gone anywhere inappropriate and when I do interact with her, she just keeps going and going and I have to cut it off like I have something else I need to do.


She has just been bombarding me lately. She kind of crossed the line and said she would die for me.


I told her that she needs to fall back, I can't be that to her, and she needs to fall back on all of the texts and emails. Now she has emailed me like 5 times this morning trying to get an explanation.

Ever dealt with something like this?

[J_o_o_k]

Sounds like she needs a strong friend in her life and you’re that anchor. Don’t perceive it as something sexual or anything until that is overt. Having a friend that would die for you because you’re that solid for them is goals man. Good work, speaks to your character.

[cody]

I'm married as many of you know.

There is a woman who I used to be her boss. I was nice to her, supportive of her, never anything inappropriate but she always seemed to make bad decisions that set her back financially or relationship decisions, so she would seek guidance from me alot.

At some point I became like her whole world. She texts and emails me multiple times a day whether I respond or not. My wife has met her. She sends gifts and cards like every holiday and just randomly out of the blue. She even sends stuff for my wife.


My wife was fine with it and actually didn't want me to hurt her feelings and felt that I just meant a lot to her and that's how she shows appreciation.

It has never gone anywhere inappropriate and when I do interact with her, she just keeps going and going and I have to cut it off like I have something else I need to do.


She has just been bombarding me lately. She kind of crossed the line and said she would die for me.


I told her that she needs to fall back, I can't be that to her, and she needs to fall back on all of the texts and emails. Now she has emailed me like 5 times this morning trying to get an explanation.

Ever dealt with something like this?

The fact you entertain it is the reason why she feels she could go to you. do you enjoy feeling needed by someone else?

Never had anyone obsessed with me. I'm a pretty stand offish person with serious boundaries so people don't usually get a chance to enter my space. I live in my own world and people are just accessories, and I scrutinize / hyper analyze anyone who tries to get close to me. That's why I've never had any super crazy things happen to me when it comes to relationships/opposite sex/friendships. everyone who has access to me is hand picked with love

[BULLY]

Sounds like she needs a strong friend in her life and you’re that anchor. Don’t perceive it as something sexual or anything until that is overt. Having a friend that would die for you because you’re that solid for them is goals man. Good work, speaks to your character.

I'm not taking it as sexual, but it's too much and out of respect for my wife and her role and my role, I have to draw a line.

[Sir Bustalot]

I once knew this chick, just friends, and even after telling her i dont wanna talk on the phone or that i hate full conversations via text, she started texting me essays of shit, where its so long it comes in 3 parts fuck

It got so bad id read 1 or two things then reply to that and fuck the rest of the message.

Never got the hint, then she got on the subject of her friends kids, i fuckin hate talking about kids, i dont give a shit about someone i dont knows kids... and she message me essays about how shitty her friends kids are, how she thinks kids these days are brats etc etc.. just non stop talking about kids for fuckin months...

I finally cut her off mid rant and said " i dont want to talk about stupid kids, i dont care" and she got embarrassed and stopped messging for a while...

Then it picked up again with random bitching and complaining about people/her parents/ neighbors....

More shit i dont care about... she wanted to make plans one day and she picked a day a few wks later, and shes so negative and complains constantly so i just said to her, "i have to ask my gf if we have plans that day because its a holiday" all was ok, next day we were supposed to grab lunch and she texted me "have to cancel lunch, something came up"

And i never heard from her again lol

[cody]

I mean if you don't entertain it, it would never happen

[BULLY]

The fact you entertain it is the reason why she feels she could go to you. do you enjoy feeling needed by someone else?

Never had anyone obsessed with me. I'm a pretty stand offish person with serious boundaries so people don't usually get a chance to enter my space. I live in my own world and people are just accessories, and I scrutinize / hyper analyze anyone who tries to get close to me. That's why I've never had any super crazy things happen to me when it comes to relationships/opposite sex/friendships. everyone who has access to me is hand picked with love

I had a long ass reply but hit cancel by accident. In short I treated and had the same relationship I had with all of my staff and colleagues. Alot of people who have worked for me or with me trust me, confide in me, and seek me out just for some level headed advice. She was extremely talkative and I would often have to say, okay, I need to end the conversation and get on something else now. But that was it.

When she stopped working for me it kind of went to another level of obsession it seems. Her position was actually moved under someone else, and she resigned.


But it's hard to think of anyone I used to supervise who don't call me, text me, email me, send me pictures and invitations etc from time to time.

This lady's mom even started emailing me at work with little positive affirmations and things. She would bake things and bring them to me at work.

She loves me too, but it's just too much for me, and kind of too far out of respect for my wife.

[BULLY]

I mean if you don't entertain it, it would never happen

My wife literally asked me not to hurt the girls feelings, you are just important to her and she appreciates you a year or so ago when she was sending random gifts.

Now my wife like everytime my phone buzzes is like what does Christina want now?

She sent a package last week with a bunch of Baby Yoda stickers and a tee-shirt for my wife.

[cody]

I had a long ass reply but hit cancel by accident. In short I treated and had the same relationship I had with all of my staff and colleagues. Alot of people who have worked for me or with me trust me, confide in me, and seek me out just for some level headed advice. She was extremely talkative and I would often have to say, okay, I need to end the conversation and get on something else now. But that was it.

When she stopped working for me it kind of went to another level of obsession it seems. Her position was actually moved under someone else, and she resigned.


But it's hard to think of anyone I used to supervise who don't call me, text me, email me, send me pictures and invitations etc from time to time.

This lady's mom even started emailing me at work with little positive affirmations and things. She would bake tyem to me at work.

She loves me too, but it's just too much for me, and kind of too far out of respect for my wife.

I guess you're right, all work environments are different. Do you work in a corporate/competitive environment ? I find working in super competitive environments, colleagues are looked more like fresh meat. So having boundaries is the only way to survive.

My advice is just to be open and honest with her. Tell her you feel like the communication is taking a different turn than expected, which you are not super comfortable with. Tell her you would like to keep it professional moving forward. If she's a dime a dozen, who cares. But if you kinda like it, then string it along boiii!!!

[cody]

My wife literally asked me not to hurt the girls feelings, you are just important to her and she appreciates you a year or so ago when she was sending random gifts.

Now my wife like everytime my phone buzzes is like what does Christina want now?

She sent a package last week with a bunch of Baby Yoda stickers and a tee-shirt for my wife.

Be honest with yourself.. do you enjoy this attention from Christina? Do you get annoyed, or does it excite you?