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  1. #1
    all is a burden as ever. Dexterity's Avatar
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    Wake up every night in a panic. Guilt and shame my only companyy

    not sayin im suicidal but

    i wouldn't care if i took a lil nap and never woke up again
    In mythology, the Medusa can petrify people with a look which is a good thing, I think. But the Medusa is a unique symbol something strong. Its about going all the way. ― Donatella Versace

  2. #2
    all is a burden as ever. Dexterity's Avatar
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    i don't give a shit

    this is it. i lived how i wanted to.
    In mythology, the Medusa can petrify people with a look which is a good thing, I think. But the Medusa is a unique symbol something strong. Its about going all the way. ― Donatella Versace

  3. #3
    all is a burden as ever. Dexterity's Avatar
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    just knowing i did right by at least one person

    thats enough for me

    it was all worth it if i just did one person right
    In mythology, the Medusa can petrify people with a look which is a good thing, I think. But the Medusa is a unique symbol something strong. Its about going all the way. ― Donatella Versace

  4. #4
    all is a burden as ever. Dexterity's Avatar
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    In mythology, the Medusa can petrify people with a look which is a good thing, I think. But the Medusa is a unique symbol something strong. Its about going all the way. ― Donatella Versace

  5. #5
    Super Moderator Emobito's Avatar
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    Aye man I do this too but I'm more a pos than u
    Where were you when I recorded in the bathroom?
    Quote Originally Posted by doctor_wp View Post
    Moose (who I usually feel is an impulsive moron with shallow intellect) .

  6. #6
    AWSM +F Sir Bustalot's Avatar
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    maybe when you feel guilt and shame, it means the mind is not concerned with what is, and more concerned with what should be/should have been. So the mind is concerned in a non-fact, the fact is you feel shame or guilt. You have hurt someone you love say. It cannot accept it and goes over and over on how it should not have been and how to fix it. Our minds are conditioned to solve problems. From school for one example. Our culture of solving problems. So youre ashamed and say i dont want to be ashamed. You have divided yourself. There is you, and what you feel you should be. Two things. Now the problem is how can i get there, to not feel shame or whatever. The problem isnt shame and guilt. The "you/me" made it into a problem needing to be solved. And that seems to me to be connected to the uncomfortableness of shame and guilt.

    also sometimes people feel shame and guilt as a way of self punishment. Self punishing is again a person dividing themself. Theres the "observing you" the one whos saying you did bad and need to be punished. And theres the punished you. So whos in control of the punished you, is it the observing you? its like you think the 'observing you' is controlling a 'puppet you', and you made the puppet do something bad, then punish the puppet for you making it do the wrong thing? how does that make sense? The observing you IS the punished you.


    When you feel guilt you ARE guilt. Not you have guilt like you caught a cold and need to work to end it. Sometimes when a problem has a beginning, one solution is to end the beginning then there isnt a problem.

    How to avoid that to begin with? must have something to do with being able to observe it instantly... and how to do that?


    im not at all saying im immune to these feelings either. I just think about it. Trying to understand why.
    Every snowflake may be different, but theyre all prone to emotional meltdowns

    Nawmchomsky?

  7. #7
    Super Moderator Emobito's Avatar
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    Damn busta
    Where were you when I recorded in the bathroom?
    Quote Originally Posted by doctor_wp View Post
    Moose (who I usually feel is an impulsive moron with shallow intellect) .

  8. #8
    all is a burden as ever. Dexterity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Bustalot View Post
    maybe when you feel guilt and shame, it means the mind is not concerned with what is, and more concerned with what should be/should have been. So the mind is concerned in a non-fact, the fact is you feel shame or guilt. You have hurt someone you love say. It cannot accept it and goes over and over on how it should not have been and how to fix it. Our minds are conditioned to solve problems. From school for one example. Our culture of solving problems. So youre ashamed and say i dont want to be ashamed. You have divided yourself. There is you, and what you feel you should be. Two things. Now the problem is how can i get there, to not feel shame or whatever. The problem isnt shame and guilt. The "you/me" made it into a problem needing to be solved. And that seems to me to be connected to the uncomfortableness of shame and guilt.

    also sometimes people feel shame and guilt as a way of self punishment. Self punishing is again a person dividing themself. Theres the "observing you" the one whos saying you did bad and need to be punished. And theres the punished you. So whos in control of the punished you, is it the observing you? its like you think the 'observing you' is controlling a 'puppet you', and you made the puppet do something bad, then punish the puppet for you making it do the wrong thing? how does that make sense? The observing you IS the punished you.


    When you feel guilt you ARE guilt. Not you have guilt like you caught a cold and need to work to end it. Sometimes when a problem has a beginning, one solution is to end the beginning then there isnt a problem.

    How to avoid that to begin with? must have something to do with being able to observe it instantly... and how to do that?


    im not at all saying im immune to these feelings either. I just think about it. Trying to understand why.
    My guilt is what ive done to my mother

    A woman who's sacrificed so much and never gotten shit in return except hostility and calls to bail me out

    Told her I was clean and sober when i wasn't

    Made her so proud when I went back to get a masters and crushed her when I dropped out

    Still thinks the world of me and it hurts because I know I'm not shit and I don't deserve that love

    I'm guilty because I've failed as a son, brother, friend, fiance

    I'm alone and I deserve it

    The will to live is just gone man. I'm trapped in something fucked up that I just don't have in me anymore to try to escape

    I don't care about life

    I don't care about people and intimacy

    I don't care about the future

    I just want my high and not to feel shit anymore
    In mythology, the Medusa can petrify people with a look which is a good thing, I think. But the Medusa is a unique symbol something strong. Its about going all the way. ― Donatella Versace

  9. #9
    Super Moderator Emobito's Avatar
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    Aye man neither of yall are dead there's still room for change. Days are numbered though
    Where were you when I recorded in the bathroom?
    Quote Originally Posted by doctor_wp View Post
    Moose (who I usually feel is an impulsive moron with shallow intellect) .

  10. #10
    AWSM +F Sir Bustalot's Avatar
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    Ive just thought a lot about it

    the next issue is theres knowing something verbally, and then theres KNOWING

    We all KNOW fire is hot. The danger isnt something we have to work out everytime in our heads to not stick our hand in it. Thats intelligence in you not owned by a school, or book, or by you or me. Its the truth. Fire burns, its causes pain and irreparable destruction.

    Then theres knowing something verbally. You know something is told to you to be true, it sounds sane, and logical, makes sense... but you dont know it like you know the danger of fire.

    Take for example my first post. It all sounds logical and fine to me. But if a person KNEW it like the danger of fire. They could avoid it. It wouldnt start, thered be no beginning of the problem. Just like you wouldnt put your hand in the fire. You wouldnt start creating the problem of how to get out of regret and feeling shame. Youd KNOW the danger of creating the problem.

    But we all do anyway. We dont have that same intelligence with personal matters. Were conditioned to say this is a problem and now i must fix it. Because all we have is thought, and thought is always a fragment and incomplete. Its always from a perspective, a viewpoint to look from. It never is the whole picture and cant be.
    Every snowflake may be different, but theyre all prone to emotional meltdowns

    Nawmchomsky?

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